Tips

The following Tips and Rules are geared mostly toward the homeless that we hope to reach. I hope some of it is useful to you, but more importantly, I hope that this project grows and that we soon get enough feedback in the blog that it will be a living and real life based guide to us all.

For starters, where do I meet my “soon to be” new friend?

That’s a big question. My heart tells me that you may already have an idea, if so, go with it, if not, no rush, it will come to you. It could be the lady on the bench in front of your grocery store or the guy that you sometimes see pushing a shopping cart up and down the road. Perhaps you could volunteer one day or night at a food pantry or soup kitchen, or a mission if you have such a thing near you. This is where I met most of the homeless people I know, as well as my mentors and friends from HopeWeaver Church. It’s a great way to start from scratch. The people at the local charity may even suggest a certain individual or two that they think may be a good fit for you. The people running these charities can be great contacts for you for many things, and you may find yourself turning to them frequently. While you’re talking with them, be sure to tell them about our project and point them to our site. You may ultimately reach more people by telling others about our project and getting them excited about it then you will by going at it alone.

How do I approach them? Just hand them your card and say “Hi, My name is _______, I’m with the Big James Project and I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be praying for you and if you ever want to talk I wanted you to have my cell phone number. Is there anything I can pray with you about right now”? What is your name?.... or any variation of the above that you are comfortable with. Feel free to leave out the “I’m with Big James” part; this isn’t about promoting our group. It can however be useful to be associated with a group, more on that below. Don’t forget to let us know how it went on our “Blog Updates” page. The more real life suggestions and stories we get the better for us all.

FYI: There is a reason I use the term "Cell Phone" rather than just "Phone Number". To those less technologically jaded among us, the "Cell Phone" still represents something more personal and more of a commitment than just a "Phone Number".

If you can see the people you gave a card to occasionally, make it a point to stop and visit, even if you just say “Hi, how’s it going”? This might be a one minute visit at first, but any visit is a good thing and shows you are real. It will take time of course, probably months or years to develop a relationship of trust. You might just find that sooner than you think, your fears will turn into anticipation as you begin to actually look forward to your visits, and you discover that you actually begin to like this new friend of yours. Honestly, in some ways, I trust and am comfortable with my homeless friends more than many other people in the world.

The best way to start a conversation, just like in any situation, is to ask questions. You at least want to know their name and you want them to know yours, you want to be able to visit occasionally and chat and pray with them if they are open to that (at least pray for them). Here are some common questions that you probably don’t ask your regular friends.

How long have you been around this area? Where are you from?
Where do you stay? (as opposed to “where do you live”) This is often a sticky question as some will want to keep their places a secret for safety reasons.
Where do you get food? Ask them about the local charities they frequent, you may want to visit the charity and introduce yourself; you never know what it may lead to. You at least want to know where to refer your friends to go for basic services if you can.
How do you get around? Bicycles are very common, but some just walk.
Do you have access to medical care? Perhaps you could help coordinate or point them to a State or Federal program. Make sure you know where your local health department is to refer them to.
Where can I usually find you? This is one major difference from your regular friends, no address, no phone. You don’t know if and when you’ll get to see them, even if you’re looking. This takes some getting used to.
Do you go to church? Where? When you are ready, and following the safety first rule, perhaps you could offer to give them a ride to church on Sundays if they need it. If uncomfortable with this, perhaps you could find someone else to give them a ride. At least invite them to attend church.
Are you a Christian? Do you have a Bible? Please make sure they have a Bible. Ask your church or other ministries around town to donate one or two. Those tiny ones are cute but very hard to read and are missing the Old Testament, so get them a big large print one if you can, their eyes may not be that strong.
How do you earn money? What size shoes do you wear? When is your Birthday?
There are so many questions you can ask, and each has the potential to lead to the start of a relationship. Not only that, their answers will educate you as to their lifestyle better than I ever could.

It will help to be a part of a seemingly official organization, most homeless people I know are used to charity organizations and outreach programs, some depend on them for their food etc. and it may actually open doors a little more quickly for you to say, “I’m with the Big James Project”. This may sound funny I know, but often it will put them on their best behavior and my help them to accept you into their world.

Of course no one can predict everything you may run into, but here are some general rules that I’ve learned from the Mission.

1. Safety First. Never put yourself in danger. Always stay in a public area, and use your best judgment.
WE DON’T NEED ANYONE TO GET HURT !
2. Ministering to the homeless is not about fixing all their problems. What you perceive as a problem may not be a problem at all to them anyway. For example, finding them a job won't help them one bit if they don't want or aren't capable of holding a job. You can do as much or as little as you feel led to do based on your own experience and capabilities, but the point is that ministering to the homeless is about ministering with love and not judging according to our own lifestyle.
3. You don’t have to do everything you are asked to do. You are not expected to let strangers into your car or anything like that. As a matter of fact, let’s just make it a rule that we don’t. A better solution, in the rare event that a car ride is really needed for an emergency or something really worthwhile, is to buy your friend a cab. One good lesson from the Mission is that it’s OK to say no. It’s actually good to say no, so that they know you are not to be taken advantage of. It’s OK to say, "I’m sorry, that’s not part of the program". On the other hand, there may be local charitable organizations that you can network with for various forms of assistance such as food, Bibles, clothing, etc. There may even be one that can provide safe transportation. Don’t feel like you have to do everything you are asked, but if you choose to go the extra mile to figure out some occasional challenges, you are a great friend. Just be sure to report what you learn on our “Blog Updates page” to help the rest of us.
4. This isn’t about money. When asked for money just say, “I’m sorry, that’s not part of this program”. If they say, I need a few dollars for dinner, or I really need new shoes then by all means, at your discretion, buy your friend some shoes or a Whopper value meal. After all they are your new friend and we are here to share the love of Christ, just keep in mind that Jesus didn’t go around solving peoples problems by giving them money and neither do we. There are times though, If you need help with a special project, please put your request in this blog, there are many of us who would jump at the chance, if we can afford it, to help you to get your Friend a new used bicycle, or a good solid Wal-Mart tent. No guarantee, but please ask, I’d actually love to have a list of needs and would be happy to help coordinate some efforts with local charities to facilitate whatever we can. You’d be surprised at what’s available out there.
5. As far as shoes and socks go, they're common items to need; after all, they pretty much rely on their feet. Some prefer boots, some athletic shoes, but don’t go for the high dollar flashy shoes. In most circumstances I will say, new Nikes are definitely not a good idea (people have been killed for less), but don’t let that stop you from finding a nice low profile budget brand, after all, nasty shoes and socks can really put a damper on your spirits. On the other hand, a fresh new 99 cent pair of socks can feel great!
6. If you need help knowing what to say in a prayer, ask your pastor, or present the situation in this blog so we can all pray for You and your Friend, I pray that there will be more than a few of us here very soon and we will definitely all need to pray for each other. If you have read this far, please pray for us right now, that this ministry may be successful in reaching people for Christ and in spreading His love. Thank You. By the way, if your good heart is open to God and you pray for help with your prayers from the Holy Spirit, the Spirit will lead you and the recipient of your prayers. I don’t say that lightly, it’s Biblically true. The reason I’m talking about prayer so much, besides the fact that we all need it, is frankly, because so many lonely people want to hear it. I actually never thought about it until now but after food, prayer is the by far the thing most asked for.
7. Chose who you work with carefully but with an open heart. Some homeless people are bright and articulate but there is no way to sugar coat the fact that much of the world’s homeless population is legitimately, medically, crazy. Another large part is on drugs. I love every one of them, but some do require extra care. If you are not trained in mental health, this group may not be a great fit you and sometimes they can be dangerous to be around. I do not want to discourage you from anything you can possibly do to help these people, just be aware that sometimes the best thing you can do to help someone is to try to get someone else to help them, that may mean calling the police or another agency that may be able to help. Don’t feel bad about this; if you can prevent them from hurting themselves or someone else you are doing a good thing. Helping is sometimes heartbreaking. Use good judgment.
With that said, some of the nicest guys I know out there will be found drunk occasionally. In this case, it’s probably best to not try to talk about any deep subjects. Just make sure they are safe, and tell them you’ll talk to them next time when they are sober. Better yet, get them a cup of coffee, and then go home.
8. As you pray, anytime you pray, please pray for everyone involved in this project. Please pray for success in reaching as many people as God wants us to reach, it may be thousands. Pray that we may be bold in reaching out to others. Pray that we can touch the hearts of the broken and the lonely. Pray that the Holy Spirit will guide us and work through us, and also keep us on track with His plan, not ours. Pray that we may know how to be a friend when called upon. Most importantly, please pray for the safety, comfort in the Spirit, and salvation for all involved. Amen.

James 5:13
Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing praises.
Psalm 43:3
Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

Don’t let all the rules and guidelines bother you, this is just a guide. Remember, let’s keep it simple. Here’s the goal:

To provide a friend to every homeless person in the world.
To ensure that every homeless (or not) person in the world has received the message of Jesus Christ.
That’s it.
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